


We're not done yet

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben loves Rey, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Dominant Kylo Ren, Drama, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Drama, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Slow Burn, after force awakens, follows events of the last jedi, hand holding, idk how to do tags, no hand holding before chapter ten, rey loves ben, rose is a uhaul lesbian, side stormpilot, there will most likely be smut but idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:21:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22091731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "The Supreme Leader is wise. Do you really want him knowing about this?" He asks, he stares at her waiting for her answer, but it never comes. Then he fades away as quickly as he came. That tingly feeling leaving her again.She almost misses it.Almost.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 16
Kudos: 39





	1. hostage

Rey swung the blue lightsaber and slashed his face. Knocking him down. She went back to her unconscious friend Finn, saw him laying on the ground back cut open and bleeding aggressively. Tears sprang to her eyes and she struggled to keep them back. She heard the falcon rise behind her and the door opened, Chewie came out and picked up Finn.

"Chewie, we need to get Kylo, we can take him as a hostage," Rey demanded. Chewie let out a cry in shyriiwook at the mention of the man who killed his best friend. "We can take him as a hostage and you can get your revenge." She begs to try to convince the Wookie. He agrees and they walk back into the falcon.

They were back on the falcon with Kylo and they were on the way back to the resistance base. Finn had been attended to and was still unconscious but there was a pulse, a weak one. Kylo had his arms tied around a chair and his lightsaber was attached to Reys belt. By the time Rey had gotten around to him the blood had already dried on his face. she took a wet wipe and dragged it on his face, not trying to be careful in any way. Still angry at him. he winces every time the wipe drags directly on the cut, flinching at times.

"Can you at least try to be gentle, you did just slash my face in half." He sneers at her.

"You deserved it" She snaps.

"You still want to kill me?" He hissed in that awful degrading tone. she didn't say anything. Angry at everything he has done, killing his father, almost killing her best friend. she moved on to the wound at his hip, cleaning it up and bandaging it, silently.

"Could you untie me?" 

"No." She says in reply to his question.

"Why, I have no weapon."

"You're a monster, you don't need a weapon." After hearing this he ventures into her mind, reading her thoughts, she wants to untie him. but she's afraid of him. "Stay out of my head." She cautioned.

"You need a teacher. I can train you, you can be so powerful. You already are, you need to explore your powers." He insisted.

"I would never train with you, I don't want to be like you, be a monster."

He opens his mouth to speak again but instantly gets shut down by a smack on his sliced cheek. He is silent for the rest of the ride.

Rey curls up in the chair of the falcon and stares at him. holding her lightsaber in one hand and his in the other. she eventually falls asleep, dreaming to be back with the resistance, with Finn healthy and alive.

The ride back to the resistance base was smooth. When they arrived they immediately put Finn on a stretcher. Rey walked out of the falcon with a limping Kylo, still tied with his hands behind his back. 

"Don't try to escape, you will just get shot." She warns.

"I don't think I could even if I wanted to."

"I'll be back soon so stay in this room."

Rey leaves to find Finn and sees him in a bacta suit. The droid said that he will be okay, but they don't know when he'll wake up. Reys sees General Leia Organa coming to sit with her. They just sit in silence for minutes mourning the loss of Han.

"Kylo Ren is here, in my room," Reys says.

"I sensed him." Leia says. "keep him with you, get what you can out of him, try and turn him, he will listen to you."

Rey agrees, sensing that Leia is hurting and needs some time alone. Leia says goodbye and heads back to her quarters and Rey heads back to her room. Needing to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey walks back to her room, where he is. She needs to move him, get him locked away in a cell. But he could just break out, she thought to herself. She made it back to her room already dreading opening the door and facing him. He's still tied up, now sat on her bed. She should really get him to the infirmary, get someone to patch him up. 

Rey walks back to her room, where he is. She needs to move him, get him locked away in a cell. But he could just break out, she thought to herself. She made it back to her room already dreading opening the door and facing him. He's still tied up, now sat on her bed. She should really get him to the infirmary, get someone to patch him up. 

"Come on, I'll take you to the infirmary," she told him. He stands up and follows her to the door.

"What are you going to do with me after that? Kill me? Slash the other half of my face? Let me go?" He pushes. She glares at him and shoves him out the door and grabs him by his black cloak and practically drags him to the infirmary. She wanted him gone, if they gave him back, he would just continue his path of taking over the universe and the first order would expand. On the contrary, they could convert him to the resistance, show him the error of his ways. But that probably would not go too well. He would get tried for his crimes and most likely executed, exiled, if they are feeling nice. They could not imagine Leia doing that, killing her own son? It's not her. Leia loved him as any mother would, she just, wants him back.

Maybe he can't come back. Maybe he's too far in. Lost, forever. She didn't care. She needed him gone, she wanted him gone, as did the rest of the resistance.

"Can you shut up?" Kylo commanded. Not really coming off as a question. "I can hear you think, it's annoying." She glares at him again tells him to shut it and clears her mind of thoughts. 

On the walk down to the infirmary, people stared when they saw Kylo. None of them knew who he was without the mask, and even with it, most members of the resistance hadn't seen him. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Aside from being 6'3 and broad, he was dressed in all black, the colours stood out against his pale skin. His face was also cut in half and his hip was dripping blood, so that didn't help either. 

When they were there, Rey told them not to ask questions and to sort him out and where Finn is. He had just gotten out of surgery and was unconscious. The doctors said the medicine they used to knock him out would wear off in a few hours, but it wasn't likely that he would wake up then. He had taken a real hit.

"Hey Finn, its Rey. The doctors said to talk to you, that it would help encourage you to wake up. There is a lot to tell you. you have only been out for what? Twelve hours so much has already happened. Ren’s here. I don't know what's going to happen with him, quite frankly, I don't care. Leia said to keep him, try and talk to him, that he will listen to me. I don’t believe that not for a second. But if we give him back, he will just continue being a monster and if we don’t well, he would most likely be killed for his crimes. Its dumb I should have just killed him there. Like he did to Han-" She cut herself off, tears threatening to spill, she hadn’t known him long but the way he treated her made her feel like she had known him her whole life. She was the closes thing to a father figure she ever had. Now he’s dead. She feels guilty about mourning him, she barely knew him, why is she this sad. Maybe she got her hopes up, got too excited about having someone like him around. She stops thinking about it, she can’t think about it anymore.

She returns back to the room Kylo is in and knocks gently on the door and Kylo walks out, free of his bonds. Rey grabs onto his sleeve and drags him back to the room, not letting him speak. They both sat in silence, staring at each other, they did this all night, neither one of them daring to talk, or to sleep, too conscious of the other person in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for a while, but here it is! I really hope you enjoy this! comments and kudos are very much appreciated! <3


	3. Chapter 3

She stares at him. A million thoughts running through her head. She wants to ask him why. Why he did it. But she knows she won't be able to get the words out. It must be around five in the morning now; the sun has started to rise, and the light started to leak in through the gaps in the blinds. 

"You can ask me." He speaks. 

"I don't want too." 

"He wasn't a good father or a good husband, Leia wasn't a good mother or a good wife." He states her mouth dries at the statement.

"You didn't have to kill him."

"Maybe, but Lord Snoke needed me too." 

"So, you just do whatever he says then?" Rey presses.

"The supreme leader is wise; he'll be looking for me." 

"I'll have to leave soon, I don't know what they'll do with you, probably kill you," Rey speaks.

"Maybe." He adds, clearly not fazed by what she said as if he knows that the first order will break him out. The resistance won't let that happen, they finally got him they can't let him escape. She leaves in a few hours, whatever happens, won't be any of her business. Maybe Leia will give him some leniency. He is her son after all. He looks more like his father.

"I can hear you thinking" He grunts.

"What do you want me to do? Turn off my thoughts." She angrily claps back.

"You're strong with the force, you need a teacher, I could teach you."

"That's why I'm going to Luke, so he can teach me." She states.

"He won't teach you, you can come with us, Rey. Rule the galaxy with us. You're strong with the force, untrained but stronger than you know." He speaks, trying to persuade her.

"I don't need your help, you're a monster." She snarls.

"Yes, I am."

She said her goodbyes to Finn, whilst Chewie, and some mechanics prepared the falcon. They were going to find Luke. and bring him back. Kylo was still in her room. General Organa was the last person she spoke too before she left.

"Rey, I thank you, for bringing him back, bringing my son home. It could that one of them could, now I ask you, to bring Luke home. he's been gone too long, and we need him, the galaxy needs him."

"I will, General, what will you do with Kylo?" Rey asks.

"I'm not sure, I’ll have to check on him once you and chewie have gone. Thank you, and please take this, it's a tracker so you know where we are so you can get back."

"Thank you, General. Is there a way for someone to tell me when Finn wakes up?" Rey questions.

"I'll send a message through the intercom. Have a safe journey." They share one last hug and Rey boards the falcon. 

She and Chewie look at each other and nod, and the set off to bring Luke home.

Kylo had broken free of his bonds, it was rather easy, it was some rope tying his wrists together, he could have broken out of them a while ago. He had communicated with the Supreme Leader through the force and they had already made an escape plan. He sneaked out of the room and found the back door like Snoke had described. Kylo used the force to unlock it and he found the small, First Order shuttle that had been here for a while, according to Snoke. It was in almost perfect condition. 

He managed to get out of the Resistance base unscathed, aside from the injuries he already had from the fight on Starkiller Base. Almost all members of the resistance were too preoccupied with Rey and Chewbacca leaving that they all abandoned their posts to wish them off. Even if anyone had seen him leave, they wouldn't be able to catch, having already made the jump to lightspeed. 

When he made it back to the First Orders Star Destroyer, he went to the med bay to have them properly fix his wounds. Usually, head to sort himself out, Snoke didn't approve of him utilizing the med droids. He said that the pain was a reminder to not fail again. But he didn't want his wounds to leave an even worse scar then they already would. He declined their offer of using the numbing cream, because, as Lord Snoke said, pain is a reminder to not fail. 

When he would fail a small mission, Snoke would often throw him against walls until he couldn't move and leave him there. When he failed on a big mission, he would drop him into extreme climates with nothing apart from himself and a thin layer of clothes, only coming to pick him up when he was on the verge of death. 

When it happened, he would get angry at Snoke, only for a second. Then he would remember that he brought it upon himself, that Snoke wants the best for him. that if he doesn't like the punishments, he shouldn't do stuff to cause the punishments. Supreme Leader Snoke made him strong, helped him kill the weak and foolish Ben Solo and become Kylo Ren. He knew that whatever punishment he would face because of his failure, that he deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is a new chapter, please enjoy, comments and kudos are appreciated <3


	4. Chapter 4

The Millenium Falcon had landed on the desolate yet beautiful hidden planet of Ahch-To. She walked through the planet. Finding him. Luke Skywalker. He's really real. She thought to herself. She had grown up on stories about him, Darth Vader and the Jedi Order, believing it was all a myth. She still couldn't wrap jer head around it. 

They stood still for a moment. Neither sp[eaking, just questioning looks. Rey unclips her bag, reaches into it, and extended her arm, fingers wrapped around the sacred lightsaber. Waiting for him to grab it. Not sure what to expect, she stood there, waiting, eyes hopeful. She steps forward, and the Jedi reaches out with his prosthetic hand and takes it. When he touches it, memories flash before his eyes, memories of his old life, the Jedi life. His eyes meet the girls once again and he tosses the lightsaber over his shoulder.

She stares at him, at a loss of words. "Master Skywalker." Trailing behinds him as he walks back to his hut. She kept her eyes pointed down as a series of thoughts ran through her mind. What happened to him? Why did he run away? The door slammed in her face and she stood up straight and rapped on the door with her knuckles. "Master Skywalker." She spoke, "Your sister Leia sent me, I'm from the resistance."

She waited for a moment, before realizing he would come out. She trudged back to the Falcon, hopes dimmed only a bit. Explaining the situation to the Wookie, they bother went back to Luke's hut, knocking one more time and receiving an angry 'go away' as an answer. Then the door comes off. Chewie lets out a cry upon sying his old friend. When Luke asks about Han, the Wookie whimpers, this was a sadness neither Luke nor Rey had seen on him. They explained everything that happened to him, not skimming over a single detail. "There's no light left in Kylo Ren, he's only getting stronger, the fist order will control all the major systems within weeks, we need your help, we need the Jedi Order back," she speaks, "We need Luke Skywalker back." Her voice deepens as she says the last part.

He looks at her, eyes serious, then they lighten slightly. "You don't need Luke Skywalker." 

"Did you... hear a word I just said?"

"You think what? I'm going to walk out with a laser sword and take down the whole first order, what did you think was going to happen here? Do you think that I came to the most unfindable place in the galaxy for no reason at all? Go away." He turns and walks away.

"I'm not leaving without you!" she shouts after him and follows shortly behind him.

\--

Finn had woken up. He was in a bacta suit. The doctors had told him he recovered surprisingly quick but he should still take it easy. He saw Poe after the doctors. Poe was a great friend and a great inspiration. he was strong, powerful, loyal, protective. He could charm even the most miserable people. Poe saved him, and Finn saved Poe. When Poe told him where Rey was they went to Leia, who caught Finn up to date. They had lost their bombing fleet whilst taking down a dreadnought and Poe had been demoted and slapped. 

"We're really nowhere, hows Rey going to find us now?" Finn questioned after their jump out of lightspeed. She lifts the sleeve of her cloak to show something that seems like a bracelet and is glowing. "A cloaked transmitter beacon." Rey must have the other one, he infers. 

An alarm starts ringing, its the proximity alarm. How did the first order find them? They just jumped to lightspeed, it's impossible to track through lightspeed, but they have done it.

He has to get out of here, he has to get that tracker and take it far away from here so Rey will find him and be safe. Is that selfish? It cant be. Rey is powerful, valuable. The Resistance needs her. Finn needs here. He goes to his room to pack a bag to leave with when he hears a bang. He hopes and prays that its the Resistance blowing the First Order up and not the other way around, but the noise was too loud for it to have been.

There is another loud sound, one that is way to close to the First Order. He runs out of his room to see that the control room has been shot. Leia was in there. Is she gone? Where would that leave the resistance? Where would that leave Rey? Then he sees her, almost flying towards them, they realising shes not dead, shes pushing through. They instantly get her in and get her the medical attention that she needs. Leia is the heart and soul of the Resistance. Nobody would know what to do without her.

The beacon had fallen off the Generals wrists, he took it and got his bag and went to the escape pod. He was met with a young girl, crying, he wasn't sure why. he assumed that it had something to do with the loss of their bombing fleet. Silently, he waited for her to leave.

Once she had left, he scurried over to the escape pods and prepared it, ready so he could get far away from the doomed ship. The girl came back, asked him who he was. Freaking out when she learnt that he was Finn, believing that he was a resistance hero. If she knew what he was dong, she would think the exact opposite. She found out. that got him stunned. 

When he woke up, he was on some sort of a cart. "I'm taking you into the bridge and turning you in for desertion." He was told after he asked what happened to him. He explained to the girl, who he now knew was called Rose that the First Order tracked them through lightspeed. It's called active tracking, the formed a plan on how to disable the tracker and took it to Poe. As suspected, he was on board with the plan, there was just one problem. How to get Admiral Holdo to agree to it. They knew she wouldn't, so they just have to do it without her knowledge.

Not only a plan was formed that day, so was a beautiful friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for not updating yesterday! i pulled an all-nighter than went asleep at lunchtime. quarantine has really messed up my schedule. i hope you enjoyed this new chapter, just some more info on the ff, whilst it does follow the events of the last jedi and eventually the rise of skywaler, it is going to be 100% accurate or true to the story line. for example their will be more force bond scenes and more of rose because she deserved better. i hope you enjoy and i would love to hear your thoughts on this new chapter!! <333


	5. Chapter 5

After following Master Skywalker around all day, viewing his daily routine. She felt an urge to go to a place. A tree. A uneti tree near the first Jedi temple. A familiar feeling bubbled inside of her like she had been here before.

"Who are you?" a deep grumbly voice called out, she flinched at the sound of it, not realizing he had joined her.

"I know this place." She gently spoke.

"Built a thousand generations ago... to keep these. The original Jedi texts. Just like me, they're the last of the Jedi religion. You've seen this place. You've seen this island."

"Only in dreams."

"Who are you?" He asked, again

"The Resistance sent me," she says again, for what feels like the 100th time.

Luke looks at her, "They sent you? What is special about you? Where are you from?" he presses.

"Nowhere."

"No ones from nowhere."

"Jakku." She says with slight shame that wouldn't be recognizable to someone who hadn't felt that same shame. She was embarrassed to be a nobody.

"All right, that is pretty much nowhere." he retorts, "Why are you here, Rey, from nowhere?"

"The Resistance sent me. We need your help. The First Order has become unstoppable." How many times will I have to explain this, she thinks to herself.

His eyes have changed, more serious, "Why are you here?"

She looks at him, suspecting that he already knows, he is a force user, after all, she should sense him, but she couldn't sense him. Perhaps that was because she was untrained and didn't quite understand all of this yet. "Something inside me has always been there Then now it's awake. And I'm afraid. I do not know what it is... or what to do with it. And I need help."

"You need a teacher. I can't teach you." He says, eyes going back to the same disappointment when he found out about the fate of his old friend, Han Solo.

She scrunches her nose in confusion, "Why not? I've seen your daily routine. You're not busy."

"I will never train another generation of Jedi. I came to this island to die. It's time for the Jedi to end."

"Why? Leia sent me here with hope. If she was wrong, she deserves to know why. We all do." To this, he just walked away. a feeling of disappointment and anger ran through her veins, she wasn't new to these. She had been feeling them all her life. She thought he of all people would understand, Luke skywalker would understand. and that he would at least have the decency to tell her why, so Leia could have an answer, so Leia could know what happened to her brother.

By the time she left the tree, it was already dark, she didn't have anywhere to sleep. Deciding on a small stone bench outside of Master Skywalkers' hut, she curled herself into a ball and tried to warm herself up using her cloak and the heat of her hands. She would have stayed on the falcon with Chewie, but he had a rough day, he needed time to mourn the loss of not only one friend, but two.

Somewhere in the night, Luke had come out told her to stay in a hut opposite him and that lessons start tomorrow. It wasn't the comfiest of beds, but it was the best one she had ever slept in, it was a luxury compared to the makeshift bed on her floor at the place she had called home.

\--

She had a great night's sleep, one of the best in years. She sat up on her bed and stared and the blank wall of her hut. Calmly. No thoughts had been running through her head. 

Then something that feels like little pins and needles poking her ran throughout her body. An intense feeling of great power, something so intimate and immersive, she had never felt something quite like it. She feared it. It was too powerful to handle. She looked around the hut again and when her eyes reached the place they were staring at a couple of minutes ago, they were met with another. A monster's eyes. A murderer's eyes. Kylo Ren.

She grabs for her blaster, that's been resting on her bed and shoots at him. But it doesn't harm him. Not one bit. He must have felt something, he's trembling with fear in the chair he was sat in. Rey stumbles out of the hut and sees Kylo there still, standing now, not knowing if he moved, or just rose.

"You'll bring Luke Skywalker to me." A flash of embarrassment covers his face, as, without the mask, his facade comes crumbling down. "You're not doing this." He becomes even more aware of the humiliation after the failed interrogation and the battle with the scavenger. At least he escaped the resistance, he's still got that to hold on to. "The effort would kill you." His eyes wander around her surroundings once more. "Can you see my surroundings?" 

"You are going to pay for what you did!" She says with an aggressive and vengeful tone, one that she hasn't heard from herself very often. 

"I can't see yours. Just you. So no. This is something else." Luke comes out of his hut and Kylo sees him, he must see her surroundings the, she thinks, or maybe its just people. "Luke." 

"What's that about?" 

She turns her head to tell him a lie she spindled, she had gotten rather good at lying, being a scavenger, its kind of a necessity. "I was cleaning my blaster. It went off."

"Let's get started." she turns her said to look at the place Kylo Ren once stood to find that he had gone and so has that tingly feeling. Why was it still here? 

She follows shortly behind luke and they climb one of the many hills on the island and go through some sort of stone archway. "Who were those things?"

"Caretakers. Island natives. They've kept up the Jedi structures since they've been built." He informs her.

"I don't think they like me." She breathes out.

"I can't imagine why."

"Master Skywalker, we need you to bring the Jedi back because Kylo Ren is strong with the dark side of the Force. Without the Jedi, we won't stand a chance against him."

"What do you know about the Force?" He questions.

"It's a power that Jedi have that lets them control people and make things float." Slightly embarrassed from how clueless she sounds, she keeps her head held high, eager to learn.

"Impressive. Every word in that sentence was wrong. Lesson one, sit here, legs crossed. The Force is not a power you have. It's not about lifting rocks. It's the energy between all things, a tension, a balance, that binds the universe together."

"OK. But what is it?" She questions.

"Close your eyes. Breathe. Now, reach out." The Jedi master lets out a silent sigh and his eyes role as Rey sticks out a hand. Taking the green leaf looking thing in his hand and using it to tickle Reys.

She gasps, "I feel something!" 

"You feel it?" Playing along with her.

"Yes, I feel it."

"It's the Force."

"Really?"

"Wow, it must be really strong with you"

"I've never felt anythi----OW! You meant reach out like.... I'll try again." Luke had slapped her hand really hard, it really hurt.

"Breathe. Just breathe. Reach out with your feelings. What do you see?" He questions, knowing she could do it.

"The island. Life. Death and decay, that feeds new life. Warmth. Cold. Peace. Violence." It was nice. Calming.

"And between it all?"

"Balance. And energy. A force." She moved her head a little, as she spoke the words as if blending with the force.

"And inside you?" He pushes.

"Inside me the same Force." She feels calm, happy, at peace. shE feels like she has finally found her calling.

"And this is the lesson. That Force does not belong to the Jedi. To say that if the Jedi die, the light dies, is vanity. Can you feel that?" He speaks, with blaring confidence, as if he has done this a thousand times.

"There's something else beneath the island. A place. A dark place." 

"Balance. A powerful light, powerful darkness."

"It's cold. It's calling me." Her voice is tense now as if she is scared of drowning in the power that surrounds her.

"Resist it, Rey. Rey? Rey!" He shouts, trying to get her out of the trance she seems to be under, "You went straight to the dark."

"That place was trying to show me something." She was sure of it, she felt it.

"It offered you something you needed. And you didn't even try to stop yourself."

Her eyes soften slightly and then hardened again. "But I didn't see you. Nothing from you. You've closed yourself off from the Force. Of course, you have." Her voice has lost al the tenseness and is now filled with disappointment.

"I've seen this raw strength only once before, in Ben Solo. It didn't scare me enough then. It does now."

She thought about what he said, at first thinking, it was fine for him to fell like that. But he defeated the strongest man in the galaxy. A man everyone thought was pure evil, that there was no light left in him, but he saw that they were wrong, and he saved Darth Vader, his father, from the dark side. It was disappointing to her, who had looked up to him, believing him to be powerful and fearless. It would be disappointing to Leia, to see what her brother had become, to see what he had done to himself. She couldn't begin to imagine how Han would feel if he was still here.

\--

Later that evening, Rey and Chewbacca had dinner on the FAlcon, it wasn't much, just some powdered food that made something similar to bread when you add some water, very similar to the food on Jakku. It tasted better, maybe that was because she was dining with friends. Friends make everything better.

She had returned to her hut and had changed into some clothes she found on the falcon that she decided would be her nightwear. Then that tingly feeling came back. It engulfed her. And there he was once again. On the other side of the hut. This time stood up. Neither of them spoke, both full of curiosity, fear, and confusion. The injury she had left on him at the battle on Starkiller base had healed by now. But it left a nasty scar, that's the side effect of having you face cut in half with a laser sword. 

The silence went on for a few minutes, she hated it. Neither of them were talking, but they felt louder than ever. She could feel his emotions radiating off him and onto her, the flew through each other. His eyes were soft, she hated it. He was a bad guy, why were his eyes soft. She shut that thought down before she had time to properly think about it, not wanting him to venture into her mind without permission, it would be the first time. "How is training with Skywalker." She doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to, he already knows how it's going, he can feel it, her thoughts flowing into his mind freely because she doesn't know how to control it. "My offer to train you still sounds, you could be great with us."

"I would never train with you, or be with the First Order.." She tried to sound confident but there was still a wave of uncertainty in her voice, she dismissed it and brushed it off as nerves from having a murderous, raving lunatic in front of her.

"The Resistance are killers too, we are just as bad as each other. You will realise that one day." He speaks, not necessarily trying to persuade her, but more to educate her. There was a softness to his voice that she couldn't imagine him with. She hated it.

"Don't talk about the Resistance being bad after what you did. After what the First Order did." She aggressively speaks, that vengeful tone returning again. 

"Once you realise that the Resistance only wants you for your power, you will understand. Both sides are bad Rey." That was the first time she had heard him speak her name. She hated the way he said it. Absolutely hated it. "Just because you are on one doesn't instantly make it flawless."

"I never said that, stop putting words into my mouth."

"Sometimes you don't always need to say things." He stares at her again. 

"Can you just leave." 

"I don't know how, I don't know what this is, I'm just as in the dark about it as you are." He expresses.

"Can't you ask your beloved Snoke?" She taunts.

"The Supreme Leader is wise. Do you really want him knowing about this?" He asks, he stares at her waiting for her answer, but it never comes. Then he fades away as quickly as he came. That tingly feeling leaving her again.

She almost misses it.

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in one day, jesus. this is the longest update so far and i am still trying to get them long, i dont want them to be too long because i really want slowburn it out you know? anyway, sorry if this isnt too perfect its three am, love u, comments are kudos dont go unappreciated. <33


	6. Chapter 6

"General Organa... Leia... is unconscious but recovering. This is the only good news I have. Admiral Ackbar... all our leadership, they're gone." The pauses between her words made t clear she was heartbroken about what happened, and all those they lost. "Leia was the sole survivor on the bridge. If she were here, she'd say save your sorrow for after the fight. And to that end... The chain of command is clear as to who should take her place." Poe Dameron's head perked up in interest at this, believing it would be him. "Vice Admiral Holdo... of the cruiser Ninka."

"Thank you, Commander. There are four hundred of us... on three ships. We're the very last of the Resistance But we're not alone. In every corner of the galaxy... the downtrodden and oppressed know our symbol... and they put their hope in it. We are the spark that will ignite the fire that will restore the Republic. That spark... this Resistance, must survive. That is our mission. Now, to your stations. And may the Force be with us."

"That's Admiral Holdo? Battle of Chyron Belt, Admiral Holdo? Not what I expected." He questions. "Vice Admiral? Commander Dameron. With our current fuel consumption... there is a very limited amount of time... That we will stay out of range of those Star Destroyers." The pilot informs her.

"Very kind to make me aware." She calmly speaks

He stares around slightly clueless. "Let's get me those fuel projections. And we need to shake them before we find a new base, so... What's our plan?" 

"Our plan, captain? Not commander, right? Wasn't it Leia's last official act to demote you? Because of your dreadnought plan... Where we lost our entire bombing fleet?" She claps back in a rude manner.

"Captain." he pauses, "commander. You can call me whatever you like. I just want to know what's going on."

"Of course you do. I understand. I've dealt with plenty of trigger happy flyboys like you... You are impulsive. Dangerous. And the last thing we need right now. So stick to your post, and follow my orders." The 'trigger happy flyboy' as she so kindly put it, decided he didn't like Admiral very much.

\--

Finn and Rose had finally fine-tuned the plan and they were ready to take it to Poe. 

"Just give it to me one more time, but simpler." The pilot asks. 

"So the First Order's only tracking us from one Destroyer, the main one," Finn explains.

"So we make blow that one up?"

"I like where you're heading, but no. They'd only start tracking us from another Destroyer. If we sneak on board the lead Destroyer and disable the tracker without them realizing, then we can..." 

"They won't realize if it's for one system cycle." Rose interrupts. "About six minutes." 

"Sneak on board. Disable the tracker Our fleet escapes before they even realize."

"All right... You guys shut down that tracker. I'll be here to jump us to lightspeed. The question is... How do we sneak the two of you onto Snoke's destroyer?" Poe questions. 

Roses head perks up having thought of an idea. "We steal clearance codes." 

"No, they are Bio-Hexaencripted and rescrambled every hour. We can't get through their security shields undetected. Nobody can." Finn states. Poe suggests to call Maz Kanata, Finn is in agreement, shes their best bet. 

They call her from the ship on the transmitter, they hear blasters going off. "Could I do it? Of course, I could do it. But I can't do it, I'm a little tied down right now." Finn questions what's happening over where she is. "A union dispute," She tells her, "you do NOT want to hear about it. But, lucky for you... There's exactly one guy I trust that can crush that kind of security! He is a master codebreaker, an ace pilot... a poet with a blaster." The gold droid, C-3PO, makes a remark about the code breaker being able to do everything. " Oh yes, he can. You will find him with a red bloom flower on his lapel... rolling on a high stakes table... in the casino... on Canto Bight." Poe shakes his head at this and asks if there is a way they can handle it from the ship, unfortunately, there isn't. They all share a look of annoyance and come up with a way to get to Canto Bight.

\--

The punishment Kylo Ren had received had been one of the easiest ones he had ever received. He had to battle with the Knights of Ren without a weapon. He got beat up, but it could have been worse. He knew he deserved it. He knew there was a reason he had his punishment. It was because he failed. Again.

He is constantly failing Leader Snoke. He sometimes wants to question why he is even his apprentice, but he banishes that thought away in an instant. Feeling anything than anger leads us to the light. That was what Snoke said. Any time he felt something other, something like compassion, he has to banish it nad punish himself, if he acts on it, well, he doesn't know what would happen. He has never done it. He has never wanted to, never felt the urge to.

But Rey, with Rey it was different. He was infatuated with her. She was an orphan who had been longing for her parents and would latch on to anyone who had a parental nature. Like she did with Han Solo. His father. He couldn't understand why she liked him so much. He wasn't a good father. He couldn't be. 

Even on Starkiller base, when he was interrogating her, he had no intent to harm her, he didn't want to. Which was out of the usual for him. Normally, he was prepared to do whatever means necessary. Even during the battle, he had no intention of hurting her, when it came to the traitor he didn't care, like normal. He couldn't describe what it was about her, why she stopped him doing stuff, It was like the facade he built, come crumbling down around her.

Maybe it was because of the bond. Even without knowing what it is, he knows that it is powerful. Did Rey do it? She wouldn't be able to, it would kill her. And he didn't do it. He had never read about it in the ancient Jedi texts, but to be honest, he didn't care much for the texts anyway. Always believing them to be useless

The first time they had seen each other through the bond, Kylo was having his wound sorted, which had now healed into a harsh scar. Then, out of nowhere, a tingly feeling ran through his body, starting at his feet and working their way up. He looked around and there she was. Sat in front of him, staring right back at him, she reached for her blaster and shot him. He wasn't injured, but he was trembling in fear and taking short, quick, and shaky breaths. Whatever the bond is, it is so powerful and so intimate, that the scavenger can bring down all of Kylo Rens defences he put up. 

He drops his guard around her, something about her mere presence does that to him. What is it? Why is it happening? And why with them? He supposes he should take this to his advantage. Try to find out where Luke is, try to get her to join him, like he had offered back on star killer. That tingly feeling had started to fade away and she had gone as quick as she came.

The second time they had met through the bond was on that same day. He was stood in his quarters when that tingly feeling had returned, it was strangely comforting. He asked her to rain with him, that his offer he made on Starkiller still stands. She spits out that she would never train with him or the First Order. He told that if she opened her eyes, she would realise that the First Order aren't the only monsters, that's its also the Resistance, its two sides of a galactic war, just because you're on one doesn't instantly make them side saints. Their slate isn't clean. She doesn't like to hear this, he can fell er emotions flowing off her and into him. She needs to, she needs to know that the resistance aren't perfect.

She asks him to leave, they both know he can't. Then that tingly feeling starts to fade away once more and she is gone as quick as she left. 

He almost misses the felling.

Almost.


	7. Chapter 7

Training with Luke Skywalker wasn't at all like she thought it would be. Master Skywalker was scared. But she didn't know why. Whatever had happened before she had come to him, very clearly scarred him. If he would just tell her about it. She had originally believed that she would be learning so much with Master Skywalker but she had only had one lesson out of three so far and it didn't go too well.

It angers her, the resistance spent all this time searching for him? He is supposed to be a Jedi, the Jedi that turned Darth Vader, and here he is hiding out like a coward and for what?

Rey finds a tall, large rock on an edge of the island. She activates Luke's lightsaber and traces the pattern of the rock, leaving a few inches between the saber and stone. Sweeping the shimmering blade around a rocky outcrop. She feels the force run through her veins, through her body. She feels that same balance she did during her first lesson. following the feel of the force performs intricate tricks that she usually practices with her staff. She starts thinking about Kylo Ren, about Han Solo, about their force bond, about Luke Skywalker. She gets angry, face becoming flushed and fingers gripping the hilt of the lightsaber more tightly. 

She tries to control it, control her rage, control her fear.

Failing, she slashes into the rock and it slides off and hits something below. She looks behind her and there he is.

Kylo Ren. The man who had gotten her angry. Why didn't she feel him? Maybe she did and that's why she got worked up. She must do that again, she must do better. "What are you doing here?" She questions.

"You know I can't control it." He states, no tone to his voice, "that was good but when you're in a fight you need to open your eyes though." He remarks.

She gives him a look, "shut up." She collects her stuff and packs it into her back. She peers over the edge to the remains of the caretakes trolley, they really won't like her now. sitting down, she lets her feet dangle off the edge, listening to the surprisingly calm waves. She sees a pair of feet join hers over the edge, she looks up to him, all dressed in black, as always. "So you can see my surrounding now?" 

"Not so much see them, more feel them, I can also see you," he answers calmly. "How is training with my dear uncle?"

her head turns towards him, he is already looking at her. She lets herself stare into his eye for a second before turning away again.

"Was it not what you were expecting? Not all that 'Jedi Legend Luke Skywalker' lived up to be?" He presses, a hint of teasing in his voice, "It was disappointing for me too, I was meditating for at least a year before I learned anything for combat."

"I'm sure he has something planned out. He is a Jedi after all." She spoke.

"Was. I don't know if he still is. I think he cut himself off from the force. I haven't felt him since that night." jaw clenching slightly after he speaks.

Rey turns her head in curiosity, "That night?" She pushes.

"You should ask him about it, see what he says." He says, anger only increasing. Before Rey can ask why he disappears and that oh so comforting tingly feeling does too. She finds herself wanting more, wanting to see him more. She tries to force herself to believe its because she wants to find out what happened that night, but she's not so sure she can.

\--

Master Skywalker had knocked on the door of her hut and told her to get ready for lesson two and meet him at the tree, where the ancient Jedi texts are kept.   
"Lesson Two." Luke says, "now that they're extinct, the Jedi are romanticized, defied. But if you strip away the myth and look at their deeds, the legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris. 

"That's not true," Rey speaks 

"At the height of their powers, they allowed Darth Sidious to rise, create the Empire, and wipe them out. It was a Jedi Master who was responsible for the training and creation of Darth Vader." Luke speaks, in an aggressive and snarky tone.

"And a Jedi who saved him. Yes, the most hated man in the galaxy. But you saw that there was conflict inside him. You believed that he wasn't gone. That he could be turned." She tries to convince him, but she isn't sure if its even worth trying.

"And I became a legend. For many years, there was a balance.... and then I saw Ben. My nephew with that mighty Skywalker blood. And in my hubris, I thought I could train him, I could pass on my strengths. Han was Han about it, but Leia trusted me with her son. I took him, and a dozen students, and began a training temple. By the time I realized I was no match for the darkness rising in him, it was too late." He informs her.

"What happened?" "

"I went to confront him. And he turned on me. He must have thought I was dead. When I came to, the temple was burning. He had vanished with a handful of my students. And slaughtered the rest. Leia blamed Snoke, but it was me. I failed. Because I was Luke Skywalker. Jedi Master. A legend." His tone changing from aggression to sorrow. 

"The galaxy may need a legend. I need someone to show me my place in all this. And you didn't fail Kylo. Kylo failed you. I won't."

\--

Rey and Chewie and using the transmitter in the Falcon to try and get through to the resistance and update them on how things with luke are going. "Still can't reach the Resistance? Keep at it. If you get through, check their status. And ask about Finn." She tells the Wookie.

She leaves the Falcon and stands outside in the rain, to others, they would think she's crazy, but for her, this is one of the best experiences. There was very little rain back on Jakku, so she cherishes it every moment she gets. 

When she is indulging in the cool rain, that warm, tingly feeling comes back.

"Why is the Force connecting us? You and I." He questions, rather calmly.

"Murderous snake. You're too late. You lost." Their conversation taking a different tone from their one earlier in the day. She never seemed to notice how all the surrounding sound seems to drown out when the force connects them. How his voice echoes in the emptiness. 

"Did he tell you what happened? The night I destroyed his temple, did he tell you why?" He pushes.

"I know everything I need to know about you." She claps back.

"You do?" He pauses, "ah, you do. You have that look in your eyes. From the forest. When you called me a monster." 

"You are a monster." She snaps.

He takes a few steps forward, "yes, I am." Then he's gone, just like that.

She knows he is a monster. She knows what he has done. She knows what he is capable of. So why does she crave the way she feels when the force connects them. It has never made her feel like that without him, so why with him?

\--

He presumed their force bond had been growing stronger, he could sense her surroundings by the third time the bond had connected them.

The girl was a strong fighter, she had great potential, on either side she was one. But with the First Order, she would be able to use her powers to the fullest extent, she wouldn't have the Resistance holding her back. She can do better than the Resistance.

As their bond grew stronger, it became more difficult to hide it from Leader Snoke. He had learned about hiding things from the ancient Jedi texts, he didn't pay attention to most of the writings, but when he did he would utilize what he learned.

He originally used it to hide his conversations with Leader Snoke from Luke. Now he's using it to hide his force bond from Leader Snoke. He must be doing a good job at it, the Supreme Leader hasn't said anything.

He doesn't know why he wants to hide it from the Supreme Leader. Actually, he does. He wants to protect Rey, protect their bond. But he doesn't know why. Why is he feeling this way? Why does he want to protect someone? You don't do that in the First Order. You fight for yourself and yourself only. So, why does he want to fight for Rey?

This has never happened to him before. For most people, this would be a natural instinct, but this is foreign to Kylo Ren. Maybe that was why it scared him so much.

He does what he always does when he needs to let off steam, train. Leader Snoke taught him that the best time to rain is when you are angry, you need to channel your anger into your training, he takes his sweat-soaked shirt of a while into the training, bothering him too much to keep it on.

Then that feeling returns, warm spreads throughout his body and he hears a voice. Her voice.

"I'd rather not do this now."

"Yeah, me too." He agrees.

"Why did you hate your father?" She turns around to look at him and sharply inhales. "Do you have something, a cowl, or something you can put on?" She gets no answer. "Why did you hate your father? Give me an honest answer. You had a father who loved you, he gave a damn about you." She says, her eyes filling with tears.

"I didn't hate him."

"Then why?" She asks, her emotions getting the best of her. 

"Why, what?" He pauses. "why, what? Say it." 

"Why did you... Why did you kill him? I don't understand." Tears now spilling.

"No? Your parents threw you away like garbage." He states and Rey spits out that they didn't. "They did. But you can't stop needing them. It's your greatest weakness. Looking for them everywhere.... in Han Solo... now in Skywalker. Did he tell you what happened that night?" 

"Yes." She spits out.

He doesn't speak for a moment, reading her instead. "No. He had sensed my power, as he senses yours. And he feared it."

"Liar."

"Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. That's the only way to become what you were meant to be" Then she is gone once more.

He finds himself missing it, missing the feel of the force when they join them together. It confuses him, it angers him, it scares him. Is it a call to the light? 

He doesn't care. He can't care.


	8. Chapter 8

Rey stumbles back into the hut after had happened in the cave. She builds a fire to keep her warm, sits on a chair, and envelopes a blanket around her slim body for comfort. "Kylo?" She calls out. That's the first person she thought of. She called his name again but he never came. She thought it this time, asked the force for him, searched the force for him. She couldn't explain why but she needed him and it scared her.

That warm, tingly feeling came back, warming her up more than the fire ever could. She was more relaxed now. More at peace now he was with her.

"Rey?" Kylo asks. She looks up to meet his gaze, holding his stare for a few seconds, that looked back to her feet. "What happened.

"There is a cave, beneath the island. I saw it during my first lesson with Luke. I thought it made sense, if there is a Jedi temple on top, there has to be something to balance it out. Even during the lesson, I didn't stop myself. I went straight to the dark." A tear rolls down her cheeks, and a gloved hand comes up to wipe it. Her eyes dart up to meet his.

"Tell me more." He says. She finds herself missing the comfort and warmth of his hand.

"I thought it would give me answers, explain it to me, explain everything to me. It didn't. It didn't give me anything. I went straight to the dark for answers I never got." More tears from her eyes. She thinks to herself that she is such a bad person.

"You're not a bad person, Rey," Kylo says. She can feel his eyes on her, a blush creeps its way up her neck, "if anything it shows that you're the opposite, you went to the dark, even just for a few minutes, and you hated it. Not everything is about light or dark, the Resistance, or the First Order. The force is about balance. When someone in the dark rises, an opposite in the light must too. To keep the balance. It sounds crazy, but its how it works."

"That's the problem. I didn't hate it." Her eyes meet his, looking panicked, "I just wanted answers and I never got them."

"That's okay. Every Jedi has moments when they are tempted by the darkness, its whether they chose to acts on it, ask Luke about his, he has loads." Kylo retorts.

"That's exactly it, Kylo! I don't want to be a Jedi, I don't want any of this." her words get higher pitched as she gets more frantic. Kylos gloved hand reaches out again but this time instead of reaching for her face, it reaches for her hand and he holds it. She likes how it feels. She really lies how her hand feels in his. "I've never felt more alone."

A moment passes until he replies with.

"You're not alone." Her heart races faster at the way his deep voice said that.

"Neither are you." Their eyes meet again and this time, neither of them looks away. Rey's hand slides out of his and he retracts it, but Rey just slides off his leather glove. She pauses for a moment, and then placed her hand back in his.

They both sharply inhale. They can feel the force collecting at their joint hands. Only their hands are touching but they can feel each other more than ever. All their emotions flowing out and forming into one. "It isn't too late." She speaks gently.

Then the walls of the hut seem to explode and luke is standing at the front of the hut screaming no. They both look at him, then she looks back and he's gone. All she's got is his leather glove.

She follows after him, grabbing her staff. "It is true? Did you try to murder him?" She accuses, full of rage.

"Stop." There is no reply. "Stop!" She screams, "did you do it? Did you create Kylo Ren? Tell me the truth." She uses the force to grab he lightsaber and holds it menacingly, not wanted to do any real damage, just wanting to scare him. When she sees he will comply she drops the saber down to her side

He looks up to her, there is a sorrow in his eyes she hasn't seen on many. "I saw darkness. I'd sensed it building in him. I'd see it at moments during his training. But then I looked inside... and it was beyond what I ever imagined. Snoke had already turned his heart. He would bring destruction, and pain, and death... and the end of everything I love because of what he will become. And for the briefest moment of pure instinct... I thought I could stop it. It passed like a fleeting shadow. And I was left with shame... and with consequence. And the last thing I saw... were the eyes of a frightened boy whose master had failed him."

"You failed him by thinking his choice was made It wasn't There is still conflict in him If he turned from the dark side, that could shift the tide. This could be how we win." 

"This is not going to go the way you think."

"It is. Just now, when we touched hands... I saw his future. As solid as I'm seeing you. If I go to him, Ben Solo will turn."

She hands his lightsaber to him, waiting for him to take it, "Rey... don't do this." 

She puts it by her side once more, "then he is our last hope."

\--

Luke Skywalker was a failure. He was a pathetic excuse for a Jedi. He decided that when Kylo Ren was born. He needed to burn it all down. Get rid of it. End it for good.

He feels a strong presence behind him, as he approaches the tree. "Master Yoda."

"Young Skywalker." The force ghost replies.

"I'm ending all of this. The tree, the text, the Jedi. I'm going to burn it down."

"Hmm." The ghost laughs, "ah, Skywalker, missed you, have I."

"So it is time for the Jedi Order to end." Luke clarifies.

"Time it is. For you to look at a pile of old books, hmmm?" 

"The sacred Jedi texts!" He says, starting to get defensive. 

"Oh. Read them, have you?" Luke looks slightly guilty of what his old master accused.

"Page-turners they were not. Yes, yes, yes. Wisdom they held, but that library contained nothing that the girl Rey does not already possess. Skywalker, still looking to the horizon. Never here, now, hmmm? The need in front of your nose. Hmmm?"

"I was weak. Unwise." 

"Lost Ben Solo," he states, "you did. Lose Rey, we must not." 

"I can't be what she needs me to be." Luke insists.

"Heeded my words not, did you? Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, falure, also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is. Luke, we are what they grow beyond. That is the true burden of all masters." Yoda had set fire to the tree. Even in death, he was still powerful.

But Rey had already left, she had already gone to Kylo Ren. Maybe she was right. Maybe she can turn him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for lying about no hand holding before chapter ten i cant slowburn, i also cant write fight scenes so pray 4 me


	9. Chapter 9

They had just made the jump out of hyperspace when Rey told the Wookie to get out of there as soon as possible once she has left in the escape pod. She wasn't scared, or regretful. She believed in Ben.

The escape pod had landed in the supremacy and the door opened up where she was met with Ben. She couldn't tell what he was thinking but she could fill his emotions vibrating off him. He felt scared. _Why is he scared? _She thought to herself. He took a step to the side and then she was met with two stormtroopers, she struggled to not roll her eyes and they pulled her up and put her in cuffs.__

__Her eyes met his once more and this time she saw that they were full with anticipation. He was nervous and scared. Not for himself. But for _her. _He turned around and started to walk towards the elevator with her following right behind him.___ _

____"You don't have to do this." She says, turning to him. "I feel the conflict in you. It's tearing you apart." Her eyes pleading. "Ben, when we touched hands, I saw your future. Just the shape of it, but solid and clear. You will not bow before Snoke. You will turn. I'll help you. I saw it." She was even closer now, their eyes not breaking contact._ _ _ _

____His head moves forward slightly. "I saw something, too. Because of what I saw, I know when the moment comes, you'll be the one to turn. You'll stand with me. Rey, I saw who your parents are."_ _ _ _

____Her eyes flickered to his lips as he said this. He had his hand on her lower back, even with the layers between them, she felt him more than ever._ _ _ _

____"Well done, my good and faithful apprentice. My faith in you is restored." Rey turns her head to see a man, maybe a creature, she isn't too sure, "young Rey. Welcome."_ _ _ _

____The hand on her back doesn't move as they start walking towards him. She feels the presence of it gone and quickly checks behind her to see Ben kneeling on the ground._ _ _ _

____"Come closer, child." Her feet involuntarily move off the ground and pulls her closer to the monster in front of her. "So much strength. Darkness rises, and light to meet it. I warned my young apprentice that as he grew stronger, his equal in the light would rise." He uses the force to summon her saber that was in Ben's hand. "Skywalker... I assumed. Wrongly. Closer, I said." She finds herself getting even closer._ _ _ _

____"You underestimate Skywalker," she speaks as shes moving, "and Ben Solo, and me. It will be your downfall."_ _ _ _

____"Oh.... have you seen something? A weakness in my apprentice. Is that why you came? Young fool. It was I who bridged your minds." A feeling runs through her, a feeling she can't quite describe, she can sense Ben look up for the first time. "I stoked Ren's conflicted soul. I knew he was not strong enough to hide it from you. And you were not wise enough to resist the bait. And now, you will give me a Skywalker. Then I will kill you with the cruelest stroke."_ _ _ _

____"No."_ _ _ _

____"Yes. Give me everything."_ _ _ _

____"No! No! No!" She screams, begging for someone to help._ _ _ _

____"Well, well, I did not expect Skywalker to be so wise. We will give him and the Jedi Order the death he desires. After the Rebels are gone, we will go to his planet and obliterate the entire island. Such spunk. Look here now." He flings her over to some sort of magnifier and she sees the resistance, being killed. "The entire Resistance on those transports. Soon they will all be gone. For you, all is lost. Ooh. And still that fiery spit of hope. You have the spirit of a true Jedi! And because of that, you must die. My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader. Where there was conflict, I now sense resolve. Where there was weakness, strength. Complete your training, and fulfill your destiny."_ _ _ _

____"I know what I have to do," Ben speaks, voice deep._ _ _ _

____"Ben." The girl whispers._ _ _ _

____"You think you can turn him? Pathetic child. I cannot be betrayed, I cannot be beaten. I see his mind, I see his every intent. Yes. I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true. And now, foolish child, he ignites it, and kills his true enemy!"_ _ _ _

____She hears a saber ignite and it isn't the one in front of her. She falls to the ground and feels the hold that was on her abruptly leave. Her hand reaches out, on instinct, and grasps the blue lightsaber that comes flying towards her._ _ _ _

____She's on her feet once more staring at Ben as he ignites his lightsaber, and they turn to see Snokes guards coming for them._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Rose and Finn's mission hadn't gone too well. They found the master codebreaker on Canto Bight but were arrested before they had the chance to speak with him. They then found a codebreaker in the cell they were in, DJ. Finn and Rose had ridden Fathiers and helped them escape. DJ and the small orange droid, BB8, had stolen a ship that they used to fly to the First Order in. They were right their, about to disable the tracker when members of the First Order appear._ _ _ _

____"FN-2187," he hears a horrifyingly familiar voice call out, "so good to have you back."_ _ _ _

____They led them into a big hall on the Supremacy where they were greeted with more stormtroopers._ _ _ _

____A skinny, ginger guy approaches him and slaps him harshly. "Well done, Phasma."_ _ _ _

____"Your ship and payment, as we agreed." "_ _ _ _

____You lying snake." Rose cries out._ _ _ _

____"We got caught, I cut a d-d-d-deal." DJ timidly spoke._ _ _ _

____"Wait, cut a deal with what?" Finn questions._ _ _ _

____A First Order officer approaches them, "Sir, we checked on the information from the thief. We ran a decloaking scan, and sure enough, 30 Resistance transports have just launched from the cruiser."_ _ _ _

____"He told us the truth," Hux says, in a state of disbelief. "Will wonders never cease? Our weapons are ready?_ _ _ _

____"Ready and aimed, sir."_ _ _ _

____"Fire at will."_ _ _ _

____"Wait. No, no. No, you can't!" Rose cries out, trying to break free of her bonds._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"Ben! The fleet. Order them to stop firing. There's still time to save the fleet." She turns to looks at him, "Ben?"_ _ _ _

____"It's time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker. The Sith, the Jedi, the Rebels... let it all die. Rey. I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy."_ _ _ _

____"Don't do this, Ben. Please don't go this way."_ _ _ _

____"No, no. You're still holding on! Let go!" He walks closer to her, "do you wanna know the truth about your parents? Or have you always known? And you've just hidden it away. You know the truth. Say it. Say it."_ _ _ _

____"They were nobody." Tears rolling down her face._ _ _ _

____"They were filthy junk traders who sold you off for drinking money. They're dead in a paupers' grave in the Jakku desert. You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You're nothing." He pauses, she looks down and suppresses a sob. Not knowing why this effected her so much."But not to me." Her eyes lit up and she meets his, "join me. Please."_ _ _ _

____He reaches out his hand, she looks at it. The hand that she has held. The hand that has been on her back. More tears roll down her face. She _wants _to accept it, rule with him. But she can't. She has resistance. Finn. Leia.___ _ _ _

______She approaches him and stands on her toes. She presses her forehead against his and shows him how she feels, want she wants to do. But what she needs to do is different. He knows it. She knows it. She takes a step back and take the lightsaber from his hand and whispers a soft _' I can't' _in his ear. She runs to Snoke's escape pod and leaves.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Her heart, full of sorrow and a feeling she can't quite describe._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, i know phasma dies but she is alive because i love her too much

It had been a month since the Battle of Crait. A month since he offered her everything. A month since she rejected him. 

The Resistance had escaped, very few of them, but they had escaped. They have been rather silent, maybe they are recruiting, maybe they are recovering. The First Order was rather quiet to. Kylo Ren had replaced Snoke as Supreme Leader. 

He was worried. No one knew what was happening with the Resistance, heck, even the First Order. After the loss on the Battle of Crait more generals had started to believe that Kylo was untrustworthy. They had to have meetings very often, to discuss the future of the Resistance and the First Order.

"Why don't we make a new Starkiller?" The small ginger man voices.

"Starkiller base failed last time. The Resistance blew it up and many of our workers died. It was a waste of material." Kylo snaps.

"But Sir-"

"No. You don't want another Starkiller for any other reasons other than control. We don't need another Starkiller. The Resistance is silent."

"They won't be for long," another general speaks up, "they are most likely recruiting and are preparing for an attack, it's better to be prepared than not to be."

"For now the Resistance are silent, there is only forty or so left of them, we should use this time to recruit more people, make it better here." Another general speaks.

"Better here? Is it not good enough for you?" Kylo speaks. 

"It's great here sir. There has been talk amongst the stormtroopers. After FN-2187 defected, more troopers have been thinking of it. Maybe if we improved the living conditions for the Stormtroopers it would stop that." The same general speaks.

"And how do you suggest we do that, general?"

"We could start by having more bedrooms, there are ten stormtroopers per bedroom and there are only four beds per room. The workers have made food as well, they don't get as much and it isn't as good. If they were treated as equals maybe they would feel like they are included and rewarded for the work they do. Maybe eventually we could further their education." 

There was silence for a minute. 

"That's a good idea." Kylo voices.

"Good?" Hux scoffs. "That's absolutely ridiculous. The troopers are here to work, not go on holiday."

"They live here, they do a lot of the work here, they deserve respect, they deserve to be treated as equals." The same general says.

"Respect? They do not deserve respect! They are not equal!" Hux breathes out, getting angrier and angrier.

"This meeting is over, everyone leave," Kylo speaks, he signals for the general with all the ideas to say. "What's your name?"

"Lo, sir. Sirius Lo."

"Your ideas are good, but we need to plan them properly so that we can get the rest of the generals on board. I want you to write down everything you just said bt in more detail. 

"Yes sir."

"Have you spoke to Captain Phasma recently? She might have some good ideas. She should still be in the med bay."

"I will do sir, when do you need it done for sir?" The general, Lo, ask.

"Three days?" He sees the general nod to his question. "You're dismissed."

"Thank you, Sir"

\--

It had been a month since the Battle of Crait. It had been a month since he had offered her the galaxy. It had been a month since she had rejected him. 

She didn't want the galaxy, she didn't want power. She wanted him.

She wanted Ben Solo back. He was in there, locked away, and pushed down, but he was in there. She felt it when they touched hands, when they fought together, when he killed Snoke for her. Ben Solo wanted to come back too but Kylo Ren wouldn't let him. Leia wanted her son back. She needed him back. She had already lost him and she needs him back.

Rey had found out how to shut off the bond temporarily. They haven't seen each other since Crait. 

She hated to admit it but she misses him. She wants him. She craves him. he craves him like he is a sweet treat. She knows she shouldn't want him, she knows what he is capable of, but she can't help herself. Or maybe she can. Maybe she wants to crave him. Maybe she hasn't tried hard enough. 

She missed the way the force bond made her feel. She missed the conversations they had. She missed the silence that could be oh so loud when they were together. She missed the way the force bundled at their joined hands. She missed the way his hand rested in her back. She missed the way his skin felt against hers. 

She shouldn't be feeling this way. He is Kylo Ren. Maybe Ben Solo really is gone. No matter how hard she might try, maybe he will never come home. Maybe he was too far gone. 

The Resistance has been recovering after the losses they endured. They were in a beautiful green location, the sun rose early and set late at night. Finn had recovered quickly and so had Rose. Leia was almost fully recovered.

They were mourning the loss of Luke. Leia. Rey. The resistance. Many of them never knew him, only his legacy. They were mourning Han. They were mourning the family and friends they lost. 

But they had to move on. 

\--

It was late at night and the sun had nearly set. Rey sat on the edge of her bed, closed her eyes and reached out.

_Ben. ___


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys, some parts are supposed to be in italics but it wont let me do it more than once, i understand its annoying but please bear with, and if anyone knows how to fix it please please please say!!!

It was late at night and the sun had nearly set. Rey sat on the edge of her bed, closed her eyes and reached out.

_Ben. ___

__Her eyes opened again but he wasn't there. But she could feel him. Feel that warm and tingly feeling inside her, the one that made the hair on the back of her neck stand in anticipation. She let her eyelids flutter close and she reached out again._ _

___Ben. ____ _

____Her eyes stay closed, waiting for him to accept her._ _ _ _

_____Rey._ _ _ _ _

______Her eyes open and there he is. Sat in front of her in his fully black outfit. She inhales sharply when her eyes meet his. Those eyes. The ones that begged her to join him. The ones that pleaded her to be with him. "Ben." She voices, hearing him inhale sharply. They are still staring at each other, saying the things they cant voice. "I'm sorry." She tells him._ _ _ _ _ _

______His brows furrow at her apology, "why?"_ _ _ _ _ _

_______'For not taking your hand. For not joining you. For leaving you.' _She tells him through there bond. Not quite working the confidence to say it out loud.__ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You did what you had to do." He replies gloomily._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I wanted to. I wanted to take your hand."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"But you didn't."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I couldn't leave them, I couldn't let them die."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Why did you do this?" He asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Do what?" Rey replies, brows knitted together in confusion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Shut me out for a month, block out the bond, why call me back now?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She is silent for a minute. They both know why, she just needs to say it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I missed you."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Why?" He pushes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________' I missed the way you make me feel, the way the force feels when you're here, how the sound fades away and you're the only thing I hear. How my hand feels in yours. I miss it. I miss you.' _She says to him through their bond.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I offered you the whole galaxy. To rule the galaxy. To create a new order."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I don't want the galaxy, I want you." She speaks, rather quickly. She sees him tense up at her statement. "I want Ben Solo. I want him to come home."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Ben Solo is gone. He isn't in there, he isn't coming back." He spits out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"He is in there and you know it. You hate the First Order and Snoke just as much as we do."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Ben Solo couldn't come back even if he wanted to. If I came to the Resistance I would be killed on the spot and you know it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They are both stood up now and she takes a step closer to him, "I won't let them," she whispers, like in the elevator on the Supremacy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________His eyes flicker down to her lips and back to her eyes, "you can't control everything. Ben Solo is too far gone, I have accepted it, you need to as well."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Ben," she whispers, but he is already gone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________\--_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She didn't get any sleep last night, tossing and turning as her mind replayed their conversation over and over. She tried to reach out to him again but he never answered, probably shutting her out as she did to him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The sun bled in through the gaps in the blinds as she walked to the fresher in her room. She stripped herself of her rather large shirt and stepped under the cold water, she had used up all her hot water for this week._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________As she was rinsing her body of the soap suds, she felt it again. She felt _him _again.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I'd rather not do this now." She calls out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Where are you?" He asks and starts to turn around._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"No! Don't turn around," she exclaims, "I'm in the fresher, could you please pass me the towel, just take a few steps backward and it's there." He follows her instructions and turns around with his eyes closed as he hands it to her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Thank you," she says after taking it and wrapping it tightly around her slim physique. His eyes open to meet hers, his head is tilted down to look directly at her and his lips are partly open. She could kiss him, right now, but she doesn't, she walks around him and into her room to grab the clothes on her bed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Just turn around." She says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She slides into some black underwear and she grabs her breast band and wraps it around her chest, then her arm wraps, and she slides into her grey outfit. "You can look now." She speaks, and he does. She grabs the same towel that she used to dry herself with nad rubs her hair with it. She goes to put it up into her signature three buns but Ben stops her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I'll do it." His fingers wrap around strands of her hair as they form an intricate pattern. She could almost fall asleep, he is so gentle with her. She never felt afraid when she was with him. "You're all done." He says and before she can say thank you he is gone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He did a single braid which started on the top of her head and went down making a sort of squiggly shape down her head, her hair wasn't long enough for it to hang down. It was beautiful, when did he learn how to do this, she thought to herself? But she dismissed the thought and left her room to go to the meeting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________\--_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She was the last one to get to the meeting, as per usual, and she took her regular seat in between Poe and Finn. She wasn't sure what was going on with them too, but the flirtatious looks they shared were definitely not those of just friends._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Leia looks at her differently today. Maybe it's because of her hair. Or odes she have something on her face? She brings her hands to her face to feel for anything but there isn't._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"The First Order have been collecting more materials," Statura says, everyone starts to get a little tense, "they have been collecting stuff to make more rooms, more beds. They have been buying more food from places."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"What are they doing with it?" Finn asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"The best bet is an extension on rooms."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"That makes sense, there were nine of us in our room, but why would they do it now?" Finn pushes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Isn't that a good thing? They are giving better living conditions for there workers" Rey asks. She never gets an answer to her question as people start talking over her. They start to discuss where the resistance will go next, where they will go to recruit more people._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She is curious as to why the First Order is doing this, they never cared about there workers before so why should they start now? She would have to ask Ben about it next time she sees him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
